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thoughts on love.

i started this to focus my thoughts to get a better understanding of the things I’m going through. my head is, what appears to be a never ending whirlpool of thoughts, as I’m getting older, i can put things together, faster, easier & generally better, then what i could last year, month, week, yesterday. I’m not out to rule the world, I’m here to have fun while i can, i don’t want to hold anyone back or be held back by ignorance, if you don’t make things work with the people you care about, whats the point in caring in the first place? blame me not for the things I’ve done, think only of the things we could do.


(I couldn’t sleep again, so i wrote this little ditty, any feed back is good feed back?)

Phoenix are mythological creatures that are said, to retain the great magical power of reincarnation, from the ashes of their own outrages, brilliant, spectacular & border lining on flamboyant fiery deaths, they are born as new. Do we dare to think of the pain this poor, yet ever so graceful, bird, to be in a never ending cycle? To and always just be? No hope of ever moving on from it’s own fiery doom. To also think, we as humans, lesser beings in caparison, idolise this flying ball of fire for it’s strength, resilience & down right determination just to keep living it’s life. Are we but naive fools? To be unable to comprehend the sheer woe of eternity… The fact that all story’s are based on some truth, no matter how random, or ridiculous. for instants, the Phoenix from the first story ever told about a burning bird, might of fact been just that! A bed time story told to a child, a joke told around a campfire while something bird related was cooking, or then again, someone, somewhere, might of seen a real Phoenix, flying, proudly fully ablaze! So therefor, the first story, about the first Phoenix ever seen by the human eye, has been around so long that it has become a myth. Also remember that these magnificent creatures of legend never truly die, they might still be out there, even still in this day & age, Never give up, never give in for we aren’t as lucky as the Phoenix, we don’t have the luxury of eternity.

Thoughts on false truths

I don’t understand why some people see the point in telling others what they think others want to hear, surely the thought of honesty crossed their minds, but the idea of self preservation must simply be to strong, for them to tell the truth. The idea of letting others down with (little White) lies dosnt really work with me, I understand not wanting to be a brutal cunt! (as in hurting others more than need be) but stringing people along by not being able to tell the brutal truth when it’s called for, just dosnt fly with me. Are people that weak that they can’t put others first? Rue the thought of thinking of others feelings & wellbeing before your own, or is it that they think they know better? Do these muppets think they are doing the right thing by not telling the truth? No one can tell what’s going through the mind of others as much as we would like to be able to read minds it’s just not going to happen… All I know is, you can’t see yourself in the mirror with a room full of smoke & trixx are for kids… Merry christmas everyone…

Thoughts on regret.

How can people honestly say “I have no regrets”? I’m lying here thinking about all my regrets, all the bad things i’ve said & done, all the opportunitys i’ve let slip by, I know there’s nothing I can do to change what i’ve done, I can only hope to learn from my mistakes & move forward, if i am aware of this, then why am I still lying here wide awake, trying to beat the wall in a staring contest? I’m warming to idea of “ignorance is bliss” or maybe all I need is an off button for my brain.

Thoughts on life.

Life is a war, there’s victory & defeat, win or lose it goes on all around you, with or without you. You may lose a fight, but that dosn’t mean you’ve lost the war, it’s the strugles we go through that define us, you wouldn’t be who you are today without the hardships of your past. all you can strive to achieve, is victory in all aspects of life & never get daunted by your defeats, we can’t afford to live in the past.    

Thoughts on loved ones.

I started a blog so I could vent some of the thoughts rolling around inside my head, I don’t really know where to start or what to say for that matter, so i’ll just jump in the deep end.

As I’m getting on in years I’m starting relise a few untruths, like things don’t get easier the older/wiser you are, things don’t make more sense, for that matter they make less sense, trying to truely understand things is like looking for the holy grail, it’s somthing that should really be left a whip wielding movie character. Or is it a part of life not to understand things?


Is the main thing I’m trying to understand, I’m starting to get bitter & I don’t like it, as much as I fight it, I’m starting to think, you are truely alone, no one sees the world the same way as you, no one has been through the same hardships as you, no one can truely feel the pain you feel. of couse this could all be just in my mind this could just be the thoughts of one slightly warped individual.